I don’t know why we don’t talk about this more, and to be honest I could break these into so many subsections from pregnancy to postpartum to the first few years of life.
Before I became a mom I knew things would change, I didn’t know just HOW MUCH they would change. And when I asked my friends, they were like ‘oh yeah that happened to me too’ – 😱 Why did they not tell me? So here I go:
🌟 It may take you a while to fall in love with your baby:
5 months on and I can now say I am truly and well in love with my baby – her smile, her chunky cheeks, I find her adorable – BUT it wasn’t immediate (it was the same with my firstborn) and even though some people are in love with their babies before they are even born – it’s ok and normal if that doesn’t happen to you.
After she was born, I was recovering from a c-section, hormonal, tired, sleep deprived, hurting from breastfeeding and concerned about milk production – there was a lot of survival mode during that time – not to mention that she was our rainbow baby so there were a lot of emotions coming up.
It took time together, getting to know each other and importantly feeling safe and calm to give myself completely. And that’s generally what happens in relationships right? So if you are not completely bawled over with your baby the minute you see them – it’s ok, it will come.
🌟 Postpartum depression doesn’t always hit right after the baby is born
After the initial craziness of the change of hormones I thought I was in the clear with my firstborn. It wasn’t until after 8 months when I went back to work that things started unravelling for me.
It was at this time that it hit me that things would never be the same again and partly I was grieving my pre-baby life.
You don’t have to be the “strong one” or pretend that everything is okay – if you are not feeling well – ask for help. I kept repressing and pretending everything was ok – until eventually it all bubbled up. Had I sought help sooner, I believe I wouldn’t have ended up with migraines.
Having said that, it’s never too late to ask for help – your kids will thank you.
🌟 You won’t be able to do everything and that is ok.
This was a big one for me! I wanted to show I COULD do everything – the superhero mom myth – who works crazy hours for her career, yet manages to do everything at home, while going out with her girlfriends and going on hot dates with her husband.
It turns out I couldn’t do everything – or at least I couldn’t do everything I had done before. So I had to re-prioritise and adjust expectations.
This led me to a path of self-discovery and changes in my life. Sometimes I don’t meet up with girlfriends for a while, sometimes it’s a while before we do a date night – what matters is that I’ve created something that works for me. So find what works for you – and if you choose something and it doesn’t work – the beauty is you can keep changing it until you find YOUR balance. ❤️